This little story was sent to me by my dear friend


Yesterday I was at my local Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit the Wonder Dog, and was in the checkout queue when woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant?

So since I had little to do, on impulse I told her, "No, I don't have a dog. I'm starting the Purina Diet again." I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of my nostrils and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet. I explained that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the check-out queue was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.

I told her, "No, I stepped off a kerb to sniff an Irish Setter's bum and got hit by a car." I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.


Walmart won't let me shop there anymore.